In Stone Age times...

In Stone Age times there were no phones,
But they had flint and great big stones...
There were no supermarkets yet,
No cash machines or internet,
No motor cars, no trips to mars,
No ipads and no chocolate bars.

And isn't it quite strange to think,
No stone aged man tried fizzy drink?
And none of them would ever have seen,

A hoover or a TV screen.
And stone aged man he never saw,

A milkshake or a sliding door,
Electric lights or satellites,
Bicycles or flying kites,
And he'd never heard of football teams
Or tasted Big Macs or ice creams

And don't you think it would have hurt his brain
If he'd seen an aeroplane?

Or watched someone blow up a balloon,
Or knew that men walked on the moon?

Oh what would you think?
Oh what would you think?
What would you, what would you,
What would you think.

If all of us here now,
Could travel back in time somehow.
And what do you think you would miss most then,
If we lived in the age of stone aged men?

Ogg

A stone age man whose name was Ogg,
Was the first to train a dog.
He taught him how to hunt and walk
Then tried to teach him how to talk.

But as you know, and books they tell,
Dogs do not talk so very well.
So poor old Ogg was bound to fail...
The dog did nothing but wag his tail.

Yet still the dog and Ogg were good,
Their friendship worked out as it should.
The dog learnt how to hunt and fight
And kept guard over Ogg at night.

The dog was comfort and a friend
So much so that in the end.
All those that saw the great man Ogg,
Went out and got themselves a dog.

So now when you walk in the street,
And see a dog at someone's feet.
Then spare a thought for good old Ogg,
The first man ever to train a dog.

So hungry.

So hungry were the dinosaurs,
When they came into the house,
The ate up all the knives and forks
And then they ate the mouse.

And they went around the bend
And ate up all the stairs
And when they'd eaten all of them,
They ate up all the chairs.

Well next they ate the TV,
The book shelves and a pram,
Then afterwards made sandwiches
Of buttered bread and jam.

"Get out of here you dinosaurs!"
I screamed and made a fuss.
"Get out of here this minute,
And leave some food for us."

Brontosaurus

I closed my eyes and had a dream
About a Brontosaurus,
Who sang a song and danced about
The minute that he saw us.

He danced upon the desert sands
He danced beneath the sea
Then sang a song upon a rock
Called 'How strange dreams can be'

I woke up on the morning
And I told my mum and dad
All about the strangest dream
I think I've ever had.

They said that dreams are nothing
'Think of something else instead.'
But now I've got a Brontosaurus
Dancing in my head.

The T-Rex

The T-Rex gives a mighty roar:
"I'm the most famous dinosaur!"

But just there watching all the while,
Is the smiling crocodile.

Who says with glee and snapping jaws,
"But my descendants will outlive yours..."

The T-Rex says "It can't be true,
I'm far bigger and better than you."

But croc says "No I'll still be around,
When you're just bones stuck in the ground."

All those names!

Well what a lot of difficult names
The dinosaurs have got
Don't you think the scientists
Should rearrange the lot?

Because what's Sauropelta?
Or a Liopleurodon?
And how angry's a Spinosaurus
When his food is nearly gone?

And while we're on the subject
What's an Argentinosaur?
And is it ever  really loud
When the Eoraptors roar.

So I think the paleontologists
Should stop their silly games
And give all of these dinosaurs
Some lovely simple names

Like Red and Blue and Black and Green
Or numbers One to Ten
So we won't have to learn all of those
Difficult names again.

The Sauropods.

When the sauropods are coming

Then the ground begins to shake

Can you hear the terrible, terrible

Terrible noise they make?

With feet the size of motor cars

And legs the size of trees

They're walking through the forest

With their great big wobbly knees?

The sauropods, the sauropods

Diplodocus and friends
Imagine sliding from his head
To where his tail it ends

Imagine being mistaken
For a tasty leafy treat,
Imagine being sat upon,
Or squashed beneath his feet.

The sauropods look wonderful
In all the books we know,
But if we could travel back in time
Do you think that we should go?

Because maybe they're a bit too big,
And less friendly than they seem
And if we saw them in real life
We might just stand and scream.