The Cannibal Clan

The Cannibal Clan
They come when they can,
And they break their way into your house.
They are evil and cruel
And they spit and they drool
And they walk around quiet as a mouse.
One of them's blind,
One used to be kind
And one has a face with a scar.

There is one with a limp
Who looks like a chimp
And keeps poisonous frogs in a jar.
Their leader is old
And his skin is so cold
That he freezes you just with a look.
And his number two
Is Ezechial Blue
Whose right hand's a sharp metal hook.


The Cannibal Clan
Once hunted a man,
And they chopped off his toes with an axe.
It has often been said
Eating children in bed
Is the only way they can relax.
And they'll get you alone
When you're all on your own
Perhaps when you're out in the park
Yes they want to have fun
But they won't let you run
And their teeth are like those of a shark.
Or they'll come to your room
In the wintery gloom
And they'll get you while you are asleep.
Yes, they'll tie you up tight
In the middle of the night
And away with you silently creep.


You'll be trapped in their cave
And no one can save
You from being eaten alive.
And although you pray
At the end of the day
There's no way that you will survive.
They've got a big pot
That gets hotter than hot
When beneath it they start a big fire.
They add salt by the cup
And to gobble you up
Is the only thing that they desire.
They add peppers and cream
And oh how you'll scream
As the soup starts to bubble and boil
The room smells of chips
And they're licking their lips
As they sprinkle in more olive oil.


Yes now it is clear
That the end it is near
They have laid out a table for six.
And Ezechial Blue
Is staring at you
And silently shrapening sticks
I heard that they start
With a slice of the heart
And then they move on to the nose.
Then they scoop out the brain
So you cannot complain
As they each bite off one of your toes.
Yes they gorge and the feast
Like a six-headed beast
With jaws that can crush little stones
Then they lay on the floor
When they can eat no more
And the pick their teeth clean with your bones.


Oh the Cannibal Clan, the Cannibal Clan
They are evil as evil can be.
And if you do not wish to meet them
Take some advise from me.
Do not be rude to anyone.
Be silent, hold your tongue!
Remember you know nothing
You are foolish and you're young.
Wait in silence patiently,
If you do wrong, then confess.
And if you're lucky, I might not give
Those Cannibals your address...

Mrs Windy-Bottom

Mrs Windy-Bottom
She is a disgrace,
When the wind it blows, you see
Her bottom not her face.
She is so very frightful
She is so very rude,
She does strange things at dinner time
To puts me off my food.


Mrs Windy-Bottom
She burps before she starts,
Then she walks around the room
Singing as she farts.
I'd like to tell her off you know
But good manners say I can't,
Because Mrs Windy-Bottom
She's my very favourite aunt.

Snail

I am a little, slippy snail
My shell goes round and round,
I leave a sticky, gooey trail
Wherever I am found.


I'm fond of eating lots of leaves
I'm a herbivore you see,
But sometimes snails are carnivores
And they look just like me!


At night I sleep inside my shell,
It's bigger than it seems,
I cuddle up, so comfortable
And have the sweetest dreams.