Anaconda!

I had an Anaconda,
It was a great big snake
I loved all of the noises
Anaconda used to make.

It used to hiss and whistle,
It used to growl and moan
And then it started beeping
When it ate my mother's phone.

I had an Anaconda,
It was a great big snake,
I loved all of the noises
Anaconda used to make.

It used to bang its tail
It sounded like a drum
But when I took it to my school
It bit the teacher's bum.

Wrap up warm.

Wrap up warm it's time to go
We're off to walk the freezing snow
We're going down to find our goal,
The icy frosty cold south pole.
We all know just what we will do,
We are the men, the Shackleton crew,
We'll sail and sail, and walk and walk,
We'll set up camp too cold to talk.

And when our ship is stuck in ice,
Ten months of cold is not that nice,
But we will leave the ship behind
And in the white see what we'll find,
The freezing sun, the howling snow,
The cutting ice the winds they blow,
We cross the ice, we come to land,
We walk some more but help's at hand.

Our leader leads we do as told
Strong and fearless, tough and bold,
Looking forwards, never back,
Until one day a heart attack,
Struck him low, but peace he found
As he was laid beneath the ground,
We know nothing could his spirit kill,
In heaven he's exploring still

Pasta! Basta!

I want to eat some pasta
That's not just long and straight,
I want to eat some pasta
That's looks like a garden gate.
I don't want all those swirly ones,
Or boring little tubes,
I want to eat some pasta
That looks like a tasty cubics cube,
I don't want plain spaghetti,
Ravioli or Penne,
I don't want tagliatelle,
Or Fisarmoniche
I want something that's special,
And looks like underpants,
I want to eat some pasta
That looks like tiny ants.
In fact I don't want to eat pasta
Any more and that's no lie.
If I have to eat more pasta
It must taste of cherry pie.

Monsters!

There are monsters in the garden
There are monsters in the shed
There are monsters running everywhere
And jumping on the bed.
There are monsters in the kitchen
There are monsters in the bath,
There are monsters underneath the bed
And on the garden path.

There are monsters that are big
There are monsters that are small
There are monsters in the kitchen
There are monsters in the hall.

There are monsters that are orange
And there are monsters that are pink,
There are some that smell of flowers
And some that really stink.
There are monsters that are purple,
There are monsters bright and green
There's monsters that are colours
That no one has ever seen.

There are monster that are friendly,
There are monsters that say Boo!
There are monsters eating daffodils
And monsters eating poo.
There are monsters, there are monsters
There are monsters everywhere,
There are monster crawling on the ground
And floating in the air.

Well I told mum what was happening
And she said she'd come and see
And then she walked around the house
Holding hands with me...
But when I tried to show my mum
All the monsters...
It was weird..
Everywhere I took her to
They'd all just disappeared!

Build it up!

Build it up, build it up
Build out of lego or of bricks,
Build it up, build it up,
Build out of hay or out of sticks.
Build it up, build it up,
But if you don't want a shock.
You better do your building,
On a base of solid rock.

Build a friendship, build a building,
Build a poem or a song,
If you don't build it properly
It will not last that long,
So take your time and build it
As strong as strong can be,
Build it quick or build it slow,
But just build it properly.

Build a school or build a family,
Build a picture or a home
Build it out of concrete
Blocks of ice or styrofoam.
Make it strong with friendly laughter,
With cement or sticky goo,
Whatever you are building with,
Build the best that you can do.

And if you do the best you can
I'm sure that you will see,
The thing that you have built it is
The best that it can be.
The best that it can be.
The best that it can be,
If you tried hard and do your best,
Then that's what you will see

My body and myself.

My body and myself you know,
We are the best of friends

Wherever body wants to go

My self it that way sends.

If suddenly I want to run

My body it speeds up

And through these eyes each day I watch
My body growing up.

When my body it is hungry
I give it food to eat,
I look after my body,

With a healthy tasty treat.

You know I think my body is 

A special place to be,
And if I take good care of it,
It will take care of me.

Nits!

No one in my family
Has ever once had nits,
What do you think
That we all are
A bunch of stupid twits?
No,
We do not go round the house,
Itching night and day...
If we had nits,
I tell you what,
We'd kill them right away...

My mum she'd get some dynamite
And stick it on my head,
And blow it up, and then I bet,
Those nits would all be dead...
If my dad heard that I had nits,
I think he'd probably swear,
And then he'd get a flame-thrower
And burn off all my hair,

No one in my family
Has ever once had nits,
What do you think
That we all are
A bunch of stupid twits?
No,
We do not go round the house,
Itching night and day...
If we had nits,
I tell you what,
We kill them right away...

Uncle Jonny he's a cleaner,
And he'd know what to do,
If he once heard that I had nits,
He'd flush me down the loo.
My auntie she's a gardener,
She'd hit me with a spade,
My brother in the army says
He'd use a hand grenade,

No one in my family
Has ever once had nits,
What do you think
That we all are
A bunch of stupid twits?
No,
We do not go round the house,
Itching night and day...
If we had nits,
I tell you what,
We kill them right away...

My Great Grand Dad's a policeman,
And mum says he's got a gun,
And if he knew, that I had nits,
It would not be much fun...
Cousin Jenny she's a baker
And she's got a rollling-pin
She says that if she beat my head
Those nits would soon give in.

No one in my family
Has ever once had nits,
What do you think
That we all are
A bunch of stupid twits?
No,
We do not go round the house,
Itching night and day...
If we had nits,
I tell you what,
We kill them right away...

After this chat with mum and dad
I was really, really glad
That my head wasn't itchy
And I didn't feel too bad...
When they took me to the barbers,
And they sat me in a chair,
And then he got a razor out
And cut off all my hair!

No one in my family
Has ever once had nits,
What do you think
That we all are
A bunch of stupid twits?
No,
We do not go round the house,
Itching night and day...
If we had nits,
I tell you what,
We kill them right away...

Poppies

Peaceful now that war is gone,
Over fields I wave my bloodied flag,
Painted red across the minds of men,
Proud stand we now in sorrows fields
In minds and memories beneath the stars above
Endless dotted, spots of love,
Seeking silence and safety.

Mirror

Mirror, mirror on the wall,
Make me grow and make me tall,
I've been a child for so long now,
Can't you grow me up some how?

I hate children!

I hate children,
That's what the teacher said.
I wish that I was back at home
Or somewhere else instead.
I don't like all that smiling,
And I don't like silly games,
I hate the way I have to learn
All of your stupid names.
So shut up and get working,
And just do what I say,
And if we're lucky,
We'll all make it
Out of here today.

FOCUS!
Arms down!
Back straight!
Eyes front!
Mouth shut!
Feet still!
Don't move!
Books out!
SILENCE!

I hate children,
That's what the teacher said
You're just a bunch of little worms
With nothing in your head
You know that if I had my way,
You'd all be in the street
Or sitting in a prison
With big chains upon your feet.
So shut up and get working,
And just do what I say,
And if we're lucky,
We'll all make it
Out of here today.

FOCUS!
Arms down!
Back straight!
Eyes front!
Mouth shut!
Feet still!
Don't move!
Books out!
SILENCE!

I hate children,
That's what the teacher said,
I wish that I was back at home
And still asleep in bed,
I hate all this teaching stuff
And trying to help you out,
I don't really care at all,
I just like to shout.
So shut up and get working,
And just do what I say,
And if we're lucky,
We'll all make it
Out of here today.

FOCUS!
Arms down!
Back straight!
Eyes front!
Mouth shut!
Feet still!
Don't move!
Books out!
SILENCE!

I hate children,
That's what the teacher said,
Then he just started shouting
And his face went really red,
And then he fell down on the floor
Pulling at his tie,
And his face it looked
Just like it was
A watermelon pie,
Then he went really quiet,
And we all gathered round,
And then his breathing nearly stopped
And he didn't make a sound.
And little Charlie, at the back,
Stepped up and he said,
"You know what, you lot,
I really think,
The teacher might be dead..."
But the teacher opened up his eyes,
And he gave a little yelp
"...I didn't mean the things I said,
Please go and get some help..."

But then we all looked down at him,
He was a funny sight,
His face had gone from red to green
And then a greyish white.
Well Mary then she stepped up,
And she said, right to his face,
"You're not a real teacher,
You're a horrible disgrace.
The proper teachers they're all kind
And they always help us out,
And they try hard to explain things
And they never, ever shout
And they get us to enjoy our school
And they praise the good we've done.
And even though they're strict at times,
They're funny and they're fun.
But you, you're just a bully,
And we know you hate us all
And that's not fair because you're big
And we're still young and small.
You've made our lives a misery,
And I'll tell you something true,
The only thing that we all hate,
Is teachers just like you..."

Then we all sat down in silence
And when we heard the bell
We told our favourite teachers
That the mean one was unwell.
And they all called an ambulance
And they carried him out the door,
And we never, ever, saw him
In a classroom anymore!

GUN

Grey as night, but deadlier than the dark

Undo the dreams of living men

Nothing remains once I have taken all.

I've got a dog...

I've got a dog whose name is Mustard,
All he ever eats is custard.

I've got a dog whose name is Jones,
All he ever eats is bones.

I've got a dog whose name is Please,
All he ever eats is peas.

I've got a dog whose name is Cat,
All he ever eats is bat.

King Harold went to Tesco's

King Harold went to Tesco's
To buy himself a treat
And he bought a bag of sausages
And a pair of brand new feet.
And he bought himself some glasses
Just to protect his eyes,
Because he'd had a dream about,
Things falling from the skies.

William was in the shop as well,
And they both just said "Hello."
But William said "I want your crown."
Harold said "You'd better go...
I've got protective eye-ware,
And I've got an army too,
So if you're thinking of attacking me
I've some advice for you...

You're better off home on the sofa
Just get your playstation out,
And we'll do battle properly
And I'll show you what I'm all about."
"But I don't have a playstation,"
Said William in dismay
"I've got an X-box but you know
I'll beat you anyway."

So they both just played FIFA
All day long and nobody got hurt
But William was the best by far
(He wore Ronaldo's shirt.)
So they did battle, yes it's true
But heres a funny thing
Harold was a bit rubbish,
So William became King.

In 1066

King Harold and the Norman William,
They met on Senlac hill
And the two of them did battle
The other to try and kill.

And it wasn't just on a playstation
And it was a football game
It was real life and real people died
Which I think was a shame.

Well they fought and fought the whole day long
With sword with arrow and lance
Until Harold looked down from on his hill
And saw William advance.

Then finally towards evening
Beneath the darkening sky,
Apparently old Harold got,
An arrow stuck in his eye.

So then it was sort of over
With no leader his army fled
Because if they didn't run away,
They'd probably be dead.

So William became the conqueror
And built a castle with stone and bricks
And that was the Battle of Hastings,
In the year 1066.

The Princess and the Prisoner.

The princess lived inside a castle
That was huge and strong,
Where the prisoner was chained up
For something he'd done wrong.

And one day by an accident
The two of them they met,
And each one knew the other
Was what they wished to get.

So the princess helped the prisoner
And they both ran away,
And lived happily ever after
In a land far, far away.

The White and the Red.

The white and the red,
The white and the red,
We fought for the roses,
But now we are dead.

King Richard and Henry

They both claimed the throne

Man fights with an army

But dies all alone.

When battle is raging

We all fight to kill

There's no time to think

Of the blood that we spill

Some soldiers will fall

And some will survive

Some will be dead

Some still alive.

Death does not care

Upon which side we fight

Death does not care

Who is wrong or is right.

The white and the red,
The white and the red,
We fought for the roses,
But now we are dead.

Just twenty-four.

Three hundred viking ships,
Are waiting on the shore,
But now the battle's lost
We need just twenty-four.

The Saxons were far tougher
Than we thought they would have been,
Their fighting was more fierce
Than any we have seen.
Hardrada and Tostig,
They failed miserably in their quest,
For the Saxon Harold Godwinson,
Was strongest and the best.

We thought that our eight thousand men
Would bring us victory,
But now we've been defeated
And we're running back to sea
With only some survivors
We're sailing back today,
As we leave England behind
And depart for cold Norway.

Three hundred viking ships,
Were waiting on the shore,
But now the battle's lost
We sail just twenty-four.