Friday 12 May 2017

Uncles

My Uncle in Australia
He's got a kangeroo,
He walks it in the garden
When it needs to have a poo
It eats all sorts of funny things
Like eggs and apples green,
I tell you it's the strangest thing
That I have ever seen.

My uncle in Malawi
Uses his car as a boat,
He drives it out into the lake
And somehow it can float.
He sails it round in circles
He sails it up and down
And he feeds it beans and sausages
So the engine doesn't drown.

My uncle in New Mexico
He's got a big black bear
He combs its coat with scissors
And he treats it like a chair
But the creature's never angry
And it's always very kind,
And even when he sits on it
It doesn't seem to mind

Yes my uncles are a funny lot
And I've got one in Japan,
Who says his feet are usable
If someone needs a fan
And when the weather's very hot
He takes of both his shoes
And waves his feet around the room
Until everybody boos.

Yes my uncles are a funny bunch
But I won't go on and on,
There's six in Okinawa
And there's seven in Saigon
There are twelve in Indonisia
And twenty in Tibet,
And 3 in North Siberia
That I haven't mentioned yet

So we're a funny family
And once a year we meet
And all the uncles stand in lines
And try hard to compete.
They race around the garden
And they jump off of the shed
And they swim out in the little lake
And they hide under the bed.

And then when the party's over
They pack and get their things
And they give each other presents
Which are tiny purple rings.
Then they order twenty taxis
And they try hard to behave
While my brother and myself
We say goodbye and wave.

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